but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Randomize
