i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
