I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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