I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I will pee on everything he values.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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