they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize