You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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