she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize