Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
