you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
