i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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