if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize