i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
