dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
