if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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