operation have a gay friend backfired
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
