Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Randomize
