Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
