I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
