I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
