You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
