The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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