I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Randomize
