Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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