I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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