White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
