im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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