so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
