Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i think i just lost a toe
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
