Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
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