I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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