She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
