no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize