Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
ok first of all what the fuck
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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