Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
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The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
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She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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