I don't think brook has ever known best
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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