you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
