but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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