i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
