Nicole vs. Life
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize