in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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