actually, I'm a sock model
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
