Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
