I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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