Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
