You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
