Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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