it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
