he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize