No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
