Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
