Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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