is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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