I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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