Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
