Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
