Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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