Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
