we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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