finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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