Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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