Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
How drunk are you?
Completed.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
