Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize