my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
