last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
